Story is identity as experience. If we can not experience it, it is not a story. A story is different from experience, because we are telling what we experience to ourselves and to others. Our experience has become a narrative. It is re-presented in the mirror and presence of identity. In one way or another our story tells us who we are, what we value and want, and what we are going through, whether it is the narrative of an individual, an organization, or a whole society. The historical fact is that organizations and societies that fail to provide this cultivation of identity will self destruct. WisdomPoint pinpoints this cultural identity as the transcendent, transformative and integrative understanding of ‘unity in diversity’. Societies err on the side of unity in fascism, and on the side of diversity in anarchy.

The story of life

A story frames purpose, value and meaning as a narrative in time. There is a drama unfolding over time. A story without drama is a report. The meaning and purpose of a story involves drama. The meaning and purpose of a report involves figures, statistics and objectives. Drama is a magical thing. It motivates us profoundly. Drama engages us deeply. Drama is about identity and how it fares in the world. That thousands of people have died from an earthquake is a statistics. What makes it a drama is the personal suffering and bravery of the person just around the corner. We can relate to that empathetically and emotionally on the level of our own existence in this world.

The self is engaged empathetically and emotionally as drama in this world. We are a living and breathing narrative since the day we have been born, and we share the fundamentals of this narrative with all human beings. There is a big question involved with this human narrative. Is the purpose and meaning of this narrative transcendental or not? A transcendental narrative involves a purpose and meaning beyond birth and death. The drama revolves around transcendent values beyond the life of the body. If that is the case we have mythology, religion and metaphysics involved. If it is not the case our drama just revolves around our survival, seeking the pleasures of the body and the senses while avoiding pain.

We side step this central question for a moment for the sake of a pragmatic wisdompoint approach aside from speculation and beliefs about a transcendent purpose of human life. There is a narrative whether it transcends birth and the body or not. This narrative has three distinct levels for everyone.

The drama of existential needs and survival

How the only boy of a Chinese family gets abducted to be sold for slave labor, and they have to form vigilante groups to find their boys again, because the police and other officials are bribed. How mothers in Indian villages sell one kidney to the black market of organ harvesting. How the African child dies of pneumonia because the medicine it gets is fake. There is a lot of syndicated crime and human exploitation happening on this level, because people are powerless and nobody looks out for them. The experience and self narrative revolves around raw survival. The movie ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ shows this drama of meeting our immediate existential needs. Beyond this level we have

The drama of individuation and object orientation

How the self makes something of the world in accordance to some inner drive and want. The world becomes a playground for the individual narrative. This is the dramatization of the entrepreneur. The world becomes an object to the intentions, the will, and the intelligence of the individual person. This is the narrative of a Donald Trump or Bill Gates. Charlie Chaplin with his character of the little tramp employs both, the narrative of survival and of individuation in very engaging ways. Beyond the level of individuation we have

The drama of ‘Essencing’

This drama sacrifices the narrative of individuation and often times even the narrative of survival for the sake of something that transcends life. The soldier who is willing to give his life for an ideal or his homeland. The monk who gives up all worldly possessions and individual aspirations for the sake of a higher being or state beyond existence. The fire man who risks his own life in order to safe others. This narrative tells us how the individual transcends the concepts and desires of individual achievement and object orientation, how it seeks “the holy grail”, finds enlightenment, and embodies ‘universal principle’.

I heard an interesting and true story this morning while I was driving to the airport told by the person himself. He was very successful in business and had realized his dream life when he had a car accident. He remembers lying there with his body shaking and in shock, blood all over himself. His whole life went by him in the face of possible death. He felt like it was nothing. All his individual achievements became meaningless facing death. He survived, and he got on a plane to Africa. He had heard that 25 000 children die yearly (?) in a certain region, just because they did not get the right medicine or treatment. He developed a business model that gets good quality medicine to remote areas and systematically uproots greed and corruption.

This is the narrative where individual achievement converts into essencing. Essencing implies humanity, and therefore works for the highest good of all human beings.

The drama of leadership

True leadership stands on the edge of essencing. A true leader knows how to transcend his needs and wants of individual achievement for something bigger. He knows how to listen, how to look out for others, how to support and encourage them. He knows the integrative force of the greater picture, he can think the synthesis of all facets involved. He may still do it for material, objective success, but he is real close to transcending the concepts and desires of objects and individuation.

respect

How can we respect life and other people, if we can not respect ourselves? Think about that for a moment…Respect works in both directions, towards oneself and towards others. There is no respecting oneself without respecting others, and no respecting others without respecting oneself.

Respect is integral to ’self and other’.  Some of us are fortunate enough to have learned self respect from some adult while they were growing up. The majority of us did not. This is the horrible reality of this world. We don’t learn how to respect ourselves to begin with. Instead, we learn how to condemn ourselves. It is all about “do this, don’t do that”. There is no consideration of self respect or respect of life. I was taught respect of nature at least. Others are taught respect for sports.

Whatever inkling of respect or awe you have for something, grab it and run with it!  Apply it to yourself and to the people you are with. Enhance it a thousandfold. There is no such thing as too much respect for anything. The more respect you can muster, the more you will connect to your own integrity and dignity. Integrity is always there in a latent state. It needs your voice and virtue to become manifest and dynamic in this world.

How do we suspect to get anything done otherwise? Whoever brought up the idea that something done without respect for oneself and others, without integrity, could be something “valuable”? Even the Mafiosi extols respect and integrity in his own petty and violent ways. The gang banger is hankering for respect and dignity. We are speaking of a universal force, not some denominational notion of being pious. Christianity knows as much or little about virtue as any other religion. Virtue, respect and integrity are the religion of all religions, the ethics of all ethics. Are business and politics somehow exempt from that ‘universal force to good’? Why should they be? This is the hubris of power – to somehow assume one is exempt from integrity. And this is the hubris of the mind – to somehow come up with excuses and rationalizations for being exempt. It is the possibility of being disrespectful.

How is it possible at all to not respect oneself? This is a very important question for all scientific psychology and religious dogma.

If you find yourself unable to respect others. Are you actually respecting yourself? If you are not, you have a real need, not just a perceived one. What does it mean to “respect yourself”? It means so much! It means everything. It is the difference that actually makes a difference for everything else you experience, perceive, think and do. Just remember, when you truly respect yourself it is the same as respecting life and anyone else. There is no difference. It is the same universal ‘force for good’. To suppose that you respect yourself just a little more than someone else is not respect, but preferential treatment.

Respect makes all things equal in the consideration of their uniqueness. Respect makes us be with and love whatever is different, because it is an expression of unity. When you learn to respect yourself in your own uniqueness and how you are different from others, you can respect others in how they are unique and different from you.

Unity in Diversity is the credo of integrity and of integration and it is the core value of WisdomPoint.

Mussolini & Hitler

Mahatma Gandhi

A real leader will not confuse ‘social distance’ with ‘respect’. This confusion happens on all levels of management. Whenever power or authority plays a role in our relationships with others the integral understanding of respect is of utmost importance. Respect is the alpha and omega of social hygiene to begin with. All social interactions and relationships need mutual respect in order to function properly and optimally. This starts at home with our family and friends and extends to coworkers and people we meet on the bus.

Respect maintains the circle of closeness between people. Relationships without respect are always pathological in some degree. The wisdompoint of the saying that ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ is respect. Respect for the other creates an atmosphere of mutual flourishing.

Leaders who use their power to create social distance are inadvertently assailing the integrity and dignity of the ones they lead. They usually look for a few “trusted ones” they can depend on or confide in, which creates a fissure of disunity in their team. This leader does not respect either, the ones on social distance and the trusted ones. Social distance operates on negative emotions like fear and anxiety rather than care and empowerment.

The first requirement for any leadership position ought to be a deep understanding of respect. Nobody should be allowed to be a leader without this innate capacity to respect others. This would immediately root out all the little Hitlers and Stalins all over the world. The ability to respect life and other human beings is a prime indicator of integrity. Another one is virtue.

Respect is often confused with social distance, and virtue with passion. The sociopathic leader can be very passionate, but is ruthless in nature. Unfortunately we often mistake the results they may achieve by being ruthless with success. It is hard to define respect, but you recognize it immediately when you get it from someone. If you have respect for others you are maintaining your own integrity and dignity as well as the integrity and dignity of the other person. That is the ground for constructive relationships, personal empowerment, getting things done, and especially for being creative and innovative.

The ruthless leader also gets things done, but s/he stifles empowerment and innovation in his team. Let this not be you. Take a close look at your capacity for respect. On what account does it seem to be lacking?

The interesting thing is that trust can be abused, but respect can not be abused. Respect is never blind. It is much more intelligent and perceptive than “trust”. The operating value in a democratic society is not trust, but respect. Trust is good for someone who has not yet developed critical discrimination. With critical thinking respect seems to replace trust as a way of relating intelligently. Only when respect is lost trust provides a safety net to keep the relationship. But what is trust without respect? I can not trust my enemy, but I can still respect him. And I am better off doing that. Not respecting your enemy is a huge mistake. Not respecting your friend – what kind of friendship is that?

I dare say that respect is the primary indicator of integrity in relationships. Leadership is one of the most important ways of relating. The stakes are high. May integrity be the leading principle of leadership. If a leader does not show respect then integrity is out of reach. Power corrupts….Integrity does not.

An Indian migrated to the US , and moved into a nice home in the suburbs.

His American neighbor came to his door to wish him welcome. He was shocked to see the man from India in his nice backyard chasing a bunch of chickens around like mad. “Must be an Indian custom,” he thought to himself. Deciding he could put off the welcome till a later date, he went home.

The next day, he decided again to welcome the Indian man.
When he looked through his window, he saw the Indian man urinate into a cup and drink it. “Must be an Indian custom,” he thought to himself. Deciding he could put off the welcome till the next day, he went on with other stuff.

The third day, he was determined to welcome the Indian man. At his gate he saw the Indian man with his ear pressed against a cow’s big fat butt.

Seeing this, he became disgusted and went up to the Indian man.

“I’m sorry sir, I did want to wish you a warm welcome, but I cannot stand your crazy Indian customs!” He yelled at the Indian .

The Indian looked dumbfounded  and answered. “Sorry sir, I think you are mistaken. These are actually American customs. I was told, that in order to be a true American, you have to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bullshit.