Mussolini & Hitler
Mahatma Gandhi
A real leader will not confuse ‘social distance’ with ‘respect’. This confusion happens on all levels of management. Whenever power or authority plays a role in our relationships with others the integral understanding of respect is of utmost importance. Respect is the alpha and omega of social hygiene to begin with. All social interactions and relationships need mutual respect in order to function properly and optimally. This starts at home with our family and friends and extends to coworkers and people we meet on the bus.
Respect maintains the circle of closeness between people. Relationships without respect are always pathological in some degree. The wisdompoint of the saying that ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ is respect. Respect for the other creates an atmosphere of mutual flourishing.
Leaders who use their power to create social distance are inadvertently assailing the integrity and dignity of the ones they lead. They usually look for a few “trusted ones” they can depend on or confide in, which creates a fissure of disunity in their team. This leader does not respect either, the ones on social distance and the trusted ones. Social distance operates on negative emotions like fear and anxiety rather than care and empowerment.
The first requirement for any leadership position ought to be a deep understanding of respect. Nobody should be allowed to be a leader without this innate capacity to respect others. This would immediately root out all the little Hitlers and Stalins all over the world. The ability to respect life and other human beings is a prime indicator of integrity. Another one is virtue.
Respect is often confused with social distance, and virtue with passion. The sociopathic leader can be very passionate, but is ruthless in nature. Unfortunately we often mistake the results they may achieve by being ruthless with success. It is hard to define respect, but you recognize it immediately when you get it from someone. If you have respect for others you are maintaining your own integrity and dignity as well as the integrity and dignity of the other person. That is the ground for constructive relationships, personal empowerment, getting things done, and especially for being creative and innovative.
The ruthless leader also gets things done, but s/he stifles empowerment and innovation in his team. Let this not be you. Take a close look at your capacity for respect. On what account does it seem to be lacking?
The interesting thing is that trust can be abused, but respect can not be abused. Respect is never blind. It is much more intelligent and perceptive than “trust”. The operating value in a democratic society is not trust, but respect. Trust is good for someone who has not yet developed critical discrimination. With critical thinking respect seems to replace trust as a way of relating intelligently. Only when respect is lost trust provides a safety net to keep the relationship. But what is trust without respect? I can not trust my enemy, but I can still respect him. And I am better off doing that. Not respecting your enemy is a huge mistake. Not respecting your friend – what kind of friendship is that?
I dare say that respect is the primary indicator of integrity in relationships. Leadership is one of the most important ways of relating. The stakes are high. May integrity be the leading principle of leadership. If a leader does not show respect then integrity is out of reach. Power corrupts….Integrity does not.
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